What is Love?

1.
I can still remember in one of our high school days, our Filipino teacher asked (in tagalog language), "What is Love?"
The whole class was so silent for many seconds, thinking... Fearing that the teacher would be annoyed if no-one participated,I raised my hand and answered, "Ma'am, it is a special way of feeling that is experienced by most of us."

Six years later, someone explained to me what Love really is.
Love has no definition through which its essence can be known. Rather, it is given descriptive and verbal definitions, nothing more. Those who define love have not known it, those who have not tasted it by drinking it down have not known it, and those who say that they have been quenched by it have not known it, for love is drinking without quenching.

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2.
Someone asked, “What is loverhood?”
I replied, “Don’t ask me about these meanings –
When you become like me, you’ll know;
When it calls you, you will tell its tale.”

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3.
Love makes bitter sweet,
Love turns copper into gold,
Love makes dregs into wine,
Love turns pain into healing,
Love brings dead into life,
Love makes kings into slaves -

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4.
"What is it to be a lover?" a friend asked.
"To have a perfect thirst." I answered. "What would happen, o friend, if you became a lover like me. Every day madness, every night weeping. Her image not out of my eyes for an instant. You would cut yourself off from your friends. You would wash your hands off the world. When I mix with people, I am water with oil, outwardly joined, inwardly separate. Leaving behind all selfish desires, you would become sick, but not any sickness a doctor could cure. If for an instant the doctors tasted this heartache, they would escape their chains and tear up their books!"



References:
Futuhat Al makkiya - Ibn Arabi
Kulliyat I shams - Jalaluddin Rumi
Mathnawi - Jalaluddin Rumi

Some Time in Life

1.
It was one of their last days in college. Five friends agreed to have a joy ride to the mountain nearby and eat sumptuous foods as a kind of celebration for the upcoming new chapter of their lives. By night, they were in a warm argument. And the topic was “Happiness.”

“I don’t know about what all of you want but one day I will have a name.”Ishita said.”Every signal that the car will halt at, people will gather they’ll come to me for autographs. I am going to be really famous. And so the happiest of all of us.”

Rajiv said, “Why would you need to be famous to be happy? To be happy, man has to be successful. I will be the best. And you will see, I will be the happiest amongst us all."

(Here, success for him is in business. Becoming one of the leaders in a top blooming company.)

“Success doesn’t remain with one for very long.” Jenny replied.

“Success would always leave the side of successful men someday, whether it be because of age or because of time. Only money remains. You’ll see, I will earn more money than any of you. And I’ll be the happiest.”

“I will be the happiest.” said Mohit.

“Because I have seen the extreme sorrows. But to be happy, I neither need money… nor name… nor even success… I want power. Because in today’s date the one who has power… he automatically gets everything else.”

“Hey, Mon,” said Rajiv. “Why are you so silent? Don’t you want to be happy also?”
Mon just smiled back at Rajiv and said, “If all of you will become happy, who will keep track of it? I will just be the accountant of all your happiness. Give me 50 Php.”
And so, each of the four gave him 50 Php, even though they were still puzzled of what was passing through Mon’s mind.
“We’ll bet 200 Php.” Said Mon after a thought.

“There’s a little confusion in the market... All of you say, you’ll be happier than the other. Let’s do this, after 5 years …on this day, in this very place…ah no… we’ll meet at a better place and decide who is the happiest... the one who is happiest wins this wager.” And all of them agreed.

Meanwhile, the day of graduation came up. That same day Rajiv wasn’t the only one catching a plane. In fact all of them were stepping into a new life… Away from the security of college… All of Mon’s friends were leaving one another’s hands… proceeding to a destination they had fixed. And him?… He still had to find his goal.

A year after graduation.
Ishita was making her first steps in entering showbiz.
Rajiv joined the company headed by his elder brother.
Mohit joined a political party.
Jenny joined a magazine that gossips about the famous and the rich people in the country.
Mon was already working as writer in a health Magazine.

The main difference between these four (Ishita, Rajiv, Mohit & Jenny) and Mon is that they were so much concentrated on their goals: Popularity, Success, Power, Money.... so much that they would do all just for the sake of attaining their goals, even if it means breaking the code of ethics and morality.
Ishita, an upcoming actress compromised on her honour in order to make it in the movies. She had to sleep with her co-star who was already a top celebrity.
Jenny, an ambitious middle-class girl achieved her dream of becoming super-rich by conning a millionaire into marrying her.
Mohit thought the only way to get ahead in politics is by sabotaging the opposition, and the result was the death of their political enemy.
Rajiv thought no business can be a success if you haven't greased enough palms. If you don't support a political party now, you'll not reap any benefit in the future if that party could win in the election.

But Mon was very much simple. Every trial that comes along, he was always moderate. He'd find ways to solve a problem, in a legal and moral way. He was fired, and he searched for another job. He was busted by a girl for not being rich, and yet because of his practical ways he'd shown her, he'd won her heart.

Exactly after 5 years, they met again just as what had been promised. But he had no idea who was to be declared as a winner for not being able to see the inner state of his friends. Outwardly, he could suspect they would all be happy for all of the four had reached their goals. At that same meeting, an emergency call reached Ishita anouncing the suicide of her long-time sweetheart for he felt so betrayed by her.

Later that month, Jenny filed a divorce because her "so-rich" husband had so many mistresses.
Rajiv's business was coming to a downfall. Because the enemy of the political party he had supported also became his enemy in terms of business transaction. Well, that's the disadvantage of blatantly supporting a political party. If one supports a party, all the other political parties become his enemy.
Mohit became an insomniac... the death of their political enemy kept on stirring in his conscience for he was the main cause of that death.

Mon then realized these and learned the wisdom behind, the truth about life that he had witnessed. He met his friends on another occasion.
"I will keep these two hundred pesos very safe." Mon announced. 'Because this money thought me what joy is all about. Happiness is nothing but the absence of sadness. All our life we chase happiness and stop living life. Happiness is not in reaching the destination. It's in the journey. So all we have to do is try not to be unhappy, and automatically we will be happy."

2.
Oh, my beloved friends,
Do not be fooled by the elegant bends,
and the sweet fragrance of a road...
Do not suddenly hasten to run on that goal,
for your feet may be prickled by the hidden thorn.
Do not jump unmindful of the direction,
for you may stumble and fall,

Walk, walk upright so that you may stay in balance.
And enjoy every careful step that you take...
Come, come, oh my dear,
Let us walk... slow but tender.

Adopted from Life Mein Kabhi Kabhiee

The Event Inevitable

1.
When the Event Inevitable cometh to pass,
Then will no (soul) entertain falsehood concerning its coming.
Many will it bring low; Many will it exalt;
When the earth shall be shaken to its depths,
And the mountains shall be crumbled to atoms,
Becoming dust scattered abroad,
And ye shall e sorted out into three classes.
Then there will be the Companions of the Right Hand; What will be the Companions of the Right Hand?
And the Companions of The Left Hand, - What will be the Companions of the Left Hand?
And those Foremost (in Faith) will be Foremost (in the Hereafter).
These will be Those Nearest to God;
In Garden of Bliss;
A number of people From those of old,
And a few from those of later times.



2. The Event Inevitable is the Hour of Judgment. People may doubt now whether it will come. But when it comes, as it will come, suddenly upon them, it will come with such tremendous reality that it will burnt deep into the experience of every soul. No one can then be deceived or entertain false notions about it.
There will be sorting out of Good and Evil, Or rather, there will be threemain classes. Among the Good there will be the specially exalted class, those nearest to God, and the Righteous people generally, called the Companions of the Right Hand (Ashab-ul-maimana). And there will be those in agony, the Companions of the Left Hand (Ashab-ul-mash-ama). Many who were high and mighty in this life will be brought low for their sins, and many who were lowly but virtuous will be exalted to various ranks and degrees. The old landmarks will be lost in the inner world, as they will be in the outer world.
Now, regarding the word “Foremost (in Faith)”, there are two meanings, and both are implied. (1) Those who have reached the highest degree in spiritual understanding, such as the great prophets and teachers of mankind, will also take precedence in the Hereafter. (2) Those who are the first I time-the quickest and readiest – to accept God’s Message – will have the first place in the Kingdom of Heaven. The category Foremost in Faith is nearest to God. And Nearness to God is the test of the highest Bliss.


3. There is a group of people called the sufis. Four interpretations are given for this name. Some see, looking at their exterior, that they wear rough woolen garb, in Arabic the word wool is suf, and they call them sufis from this. Others, looking their way of life free from the anxieties of this world, and at their ease and at peace, which in Arabic is safa, call them sufis on that account,. Yet others, seeing deeper, look at their hearts, which are purified of everything other than the Essence of Allah. Because of the purity of those hearts, in Arabic safi, they term them sufis. Others who know call them sufis because they are close to Allah and will standing the first row, in Arabic saff, before Allah on the day of the Last Judgment.


References:
The Holy Qur’an, Chapter 56 The Inevitable Event
Sirr al-asrar fi ma yahtaju ilayhi al-abrar - Abdulqadir Al-Jilani

Khizr and Moses

1.
Moses asked God whether there was any one man more knowing than himself; and he was directed to go to Khizr. Khizr is supposed to be one Balya ibn Malacan, who having drunk of the water of life had become immortal. Moses with his servant, Joshua, proceeded to the place where the two seas met. When they arrived at the meeting of the two seas, they forgot the fish the roasted one in which they had brought for their dinner; and the fish took its way freely to the sea. When Moses called for dinner, Joshua told him what had actually happened. They then returned to the place from which the fish had jumped into the sea. Here Moses met Khizr and requested him to be allowed to follow him “that thou mayest teach me part that whic

h thou hast been taught.” Khizr answered: “verily thou couldst not bear with me: for how couldst thou patiently suffer those things, the knowledge whereof thou dost not comprehend.” Moses replied: “thou shalt find me patient if God please.” (he Qur’an continues).
“So they went on by the seashore, until they got aboard a ship; and Khizr made a hole therein. And Moses said unto him: “Hast thou made a hole therein, so that thou mayst drown those who are aboard? Thou hast done a strange thing.” He answered, “Did I not tell thee that thou couldst not bear with me?” Moses said: “Rebuke me not, because I did forget, and impose not on me a difficulty which I had not anticipated” Wherefore they left the ship and proceeded until they met with a youth; and Khizr slew him. Moses said: “Hast thou slain an innocent person, without his having killed another? Now hast thou committed an unjust action.” He answered, “Did I not tell thee that thou couldst not bear with me.” Moses said, “If I ask thee concerning anything hereafter, suffer me not to accompany thee; now hast thou received an excuse from me.” They went forward, therefore, until they came to the inhabitants of a certain city; and they asked food of the inhabitants thereof; but they refused to receive them. And they found therein a wall, which was ready to fall down, and Khizr set himself to put it upright. Whereupon Moses said unto him, “if thou wouldst, thou mightiest

doubtless have received a reward for it.” He answered, “this shall be a separation between me and thee; but I will first declare unto thee the significance of that which thou couldst not bear with patience. The vessel belonged to a certain poor men, who did their business in the sea; and I was minded to render it unserviceable, because there was a King behind them, who took away every sound ship by force. As to the youth, his parents were true believers; and we feared, lest he being an unbeliever should oblige them to suffer his perverseness and ingratitude; wherefore we desired that their Lord might give them a more righteous child in exchange, and one more affectionate towards them. And the wall belonged to two orphan youths in the city; and under it was a treasure hidden, which belonged to them, and their father was a righteous man; and thy Lord was pleased that they should attain their full age and take forth their treasure, through the mercy of thy Lord; and I did not what thou hast seen of mine own will, but by God’s direction. This is the interpretation of that which thou couldst not bear with patience.”


2.
Khizr met Moses at the junction of the rivers; Love and Humanity – the unmanifest and manifest of Nirguna and Sarguna or exotericism and esoterism. The Qur’an says:Marajal bahrayni yaltaqiyan
“We have issued two seas that never mingle with one another.”
Baynahuma barzakugl la yabgiyan.
“There is a partition between them that is irremovable.”

David too refers to his partition: “Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy water spouts: all thy waves and billows are gone over me.”
3.
When one is on this cataract, one requires a boat and a boatman to tide over it. Moses met the boatman in the person of Khizr and the boat was the boat of spiritual training. When the boat reaches the other side of the river, there lives a king who confiscates all sound boats. To save his ship, Khizr , the spiritual guide springs a leak in it. This is the hole of Love in the bottom of Humanity. Satan is unable to confiscate it, a leaky boat is of no good to him. In such a boat Humanity passes over to spirituality.

Khizr and Moses, the guru and disciple, it maybe, landed on the other side of river, in the country which the tyrant ruled. Khizr took hold of a youth, i.e., desire and slew him outright. This youth was Nafs(desire-body). In the second stage of the journey one has to kill his desire body; unless desires are killed, there can be no progress, this demon in the shape of a youth will be shadowing our steps. The two then leave this country and enter another country – a country inhabited by plunderers no doubt – and in a state of ruin. Here Khizr and Moses have to satisfy their creature comforts, but nobody would give them a crumb of bread. Khizr, however, sets about repairing a wall in imminent danger of falling. Under the shadow of this wall, two precious treasures lie buried – Treasure of Prophetship and Saintship, the two orphans referred to. In this country of plunderers, the walls of Shari’at is protecting these two treasures. Under the protection of ceremonial institutions, the peace of the country was maintained. The two treasures would have fallen into unworthy hands. Hence Shari’at (ceremonial institution) protects spiritual treasures.

References:
Qur’an al-karim, Surah Kahf
Qur’an al-karim, Surah Rahman
Mathnavi – Jalaluddin Rumi
Esoteric Narratives – Khan Sahib Khaja Khan

To Choose God

While I was in my adolescent years, I unintentionally met this man whose wisdom is vast and deeper than most people can ever guess.
“Imagine you were already there in the Hereafter. After your good deeds were counted and your sins forgiven by your Lord, you were to be given huge rewards – that is, to enter paradise and spend all in it as you may wish and live in it for eternity.”He started. “You were already brought near the gate of the blessed paradise from which immense light(nuwr) comes out. And while you were standing there, you could smell the sweetest fruits, and the most delicious foods. And you could hear the chanting of the most beautiful maidens, …waiting for you.”
I was taken for a moment by the imagination as he was describing it. I could not help but smiled back at him.
“Would you accept such reward?” He asked.
“Of course,” I answered after a thought.”yes.”
“If I were to answer the same question,” He focused his gaze at me. “My answer would be ‘no’.”
“Why?” I wondered loudly.
“Because I don’t want to live in paradise forever. I want to live with My Lord beside me. I want to live right beside Him, really close to Him. If I were to visit a beloved king in his palace, I will not only stay in the sala of the palace, but enter to the hallway and into his room.”
All these years, this conversation kept ringing around in the realm of my understanding. It simply gives us a realization of the identity of the created world whenever we encounter this situation, or even just hear or read about such.

Someone in the ecstasy of Love towards his Lord was running in the streets. On his right hand, he was holding a torch of flame and on the other, a basket full of water.
“O noble one!” asked the people in that village. “Why are you doing this?”
“I am going to put out the fire in Hell with this water and burn the paradise with this fire in my torch.” He shouted in reply. “Because people are now worshipping their Lord in fear of the punishment in Hell and in excessive desire to get the rewards and to enter paradise in the Hereafter. And not because of Love towards Him.”

The mark of lovers is high aspiration. They strive only for the Beloved. In order to reach Him, they must turn their gaze away from everything in the created universe, even to paradise.

According to Sam’ani in his “Rawh Al-Arwah”:
“Time, space, entities, traces, vestiges, shapes, existent things, and objects of knowledge must be erased completely from in front of you. If any of these clings to your skirt, the name of freedom will not stick to you, you can never be a true servant of God.”

Love, then, means to be free of everything in the created world, every thing, and to choose God. It is to serve God, nothing else. Human beings alone were created such that they can love God in His infinite, all-comprehensive reality, embracing the attitudes of both beauty and majesty, gentleness and severity. When they focus on God by realizing tawhid, they escape the limitation of possessing certain attributes rather than others.

Again, according to Sam’ani, God addresses his creatures like this:
“O accursed one, are you proud of fire? You belong to fire and fire belongs to you. O Korah, are you proud of treasure? You belong to your treasures and they belong to you. O Pharaoh, are you proud of the Nile? You belong to the Nile and the Nile belongs to you! O you who declare my unity (tawhid), are you proud of Me? You belong to Me and I belong to you.”

If human beings are to aspire to God, they need to be able to differentiate between God and all else. The key to human love and perfection is a discerning heart, one that sees God in the midst of the confusing multiplicity of creation. Adam, our common father, provides the model for lovers.
The root of every business is the discernment of value. The Sultan of Adam’s aspiration sat on the horse of his majestic state. Then it rode into the Garden to measure its worth. There is difference of opinions as to whether or not a person can buy what he has not seen. But all agree that you cannot judge the value of something without having seen it.

Sam’ani relates about Adam as follows:
“’O Adam, what is entering paradise worth to you?” The Lord asked.
“Adam replied, ‘ For someone who fears hell, paradise is worth a thousand lives. But for someone who fears You, paradise is not worth a grain.” Hence the wisdom in taking Adam to paradise was to make manifest his aspiration.’ “

When Adam saw that paradise had no value, he decided to leave. But God had given it to him as his own domain. The only way to get out quickly was to break God’s commandment.

“By God the Tremendous! They placed the worth of paradise on Adam’s palm. THERE WAS NO BRIDE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN PARADISE among all the existent things, it had such a beautiful face and such perfect adornment! But ruling power of Adam’s aspiration entered from the world of the Unseen Jealousy. He weighed the worth of paradise with his hand and its value in the scales. Paradise began to shout, ‘I can not put up with this brazen man!’
“O noble youth! If tomorrow you go up to paradise and you look at it from the corner of your heart’s eye, in truth, IN TRUTH, you will have fallen short of Adam’s aspiration. Something that your father sold for one grain of wheat – why would you want to settle down there?”

"Judgement"

Through frequent conversation with a man whose vision is so deep, I was able to write his story... a very astounding journey of life. Let's again try to take a glimpse so as to taste such sweet sensations of human's spirituality:

Chapter III Judgement
“Calling all the leaders all over the world… this man is to be judged” was the sound I heard ringing in pain almost to explode my brain. It was a great fearful day and everybody was present and all were watching to secrets recesses of my previous deeds. It was extremely shameful and made me perspire extremely for apparently to everyone I was a good pious Muslim of excellent deeds, silent nature but in secrecy shameful deeds have been committed which were then exposed by this Great Judge whose words silenced everyone.

The judgment pronounced to me was hypocrisy. And according to the great judge there were no Saddam Hussein whom I thought to be a hypocrite, no Iran nor Iraq which falsely concerned me (because in those days the Persian Gulf war was at its height) but were only nature telling me that something has been wrong in my inner world. The world appeared to be outside is actually my heart, my mind or I. I should have centered and busied myself with my personal affairs as the world, which appeared to be in chaos, people to be unreligious and groups to be in war were actually me to be so. It was actually my inner world which was in trouble. I was in great mistakes judging and disdaining others because those impulses against other were already messages that I was actually what I thought others to be. It was not Saddam Hussein to be neither hypocrite nor my friends to be untrustworthy, others to be irreligious but it was I. In truth, they were delivering signs, or they themselves were signs or ayat which I did not understand. The truth has always been communicating through every phenomenon I encounter, which was supposed to rectify every thought. The world that I thought real was actually not but illusive dream or my mere fantastic imagination. I was just fooled by my own judgment affected by the influence of dogmatic formal religion.

The fantastic world has always remained beautiful had I maintained my ignorance, cheerful disposition to everyone. Without any thought of pretensions, everything should have never become unbeautiful to me. But continuous shining of brilliance and effulgence was hidden from my sight because I have corrupted my being. Worldly problems and difficulties were only result of this self-corruption. No prayer, nor fasting nor any act of religiosity can compensate for evil thinking of the ignorant world around me. It was a great mistake and my regrets were now useless. How I wish to be back again and rectify the mistakes?

I was thrown up and down the hell and turn into a seven-headed dragon but the shouts and dances of people of paradise were never unheard by me. As everyone was happy, only I shall suffer to eternity.

To my parents giving me care, I was in high fever and in great delirium. The doctor diagnosed, it was Malaria.

But it was never a Divine joke. My uncle, an Imam, expert in looking at signs of the dying, observed my nose to be more aquiline, a sign that I was actually dying.

There were times when my 7 days were personified to be 7 arms of a turtle and 3 to 4 were chainlike pulled to close. There were only few remaining. The living and the dead were already watching and waiting for the arrow to be thrown directly at the center of my being by the best archer.

What was very painful and regretful was when I saw the prophet, his headdress only visible, was breathlessly reading a prayer of seven opening verses of the qur-an, heard by all creatures who was even then in great fear, for the prophet was angry ready to evacuate the Kaaba, with all his descendants for I was such a transgressor to a holy precinct. I saw a young Imam Husain, his headdress burned by the fire of hell due to his task of saving some people from the hellfire.
Those who were living were aboard a big white vessel which was up to that moment embarking every being for safety, likened to the Noah’s ark. My present wife, who was then a young lady of many suitors, was in the cabin, with her baby boy crying. I was outside the big vessel, which was traveling in space of eternity.

If I were a motorcycle, in those times, I run short of gas. My tank was dried and empty. But true are prayers and soothing hands of love ones. I saw bluish radiation coming from the right hand of my cousin, Lahu, who was offering me everything he knew if only to gain me back. The light that spread out into my entire body seems to give me some sort of hope.

But if prayers are such strong which can even bring a dying man back to vitality, like Isa (Jesus) Almaseih, it was my Dad’s prayer asking God, Please never allow my son to die ahead of me, let me do it first. And talking to me; “Son, do not die now. Marry a woman of your wish if you only live. Giving you formal education is not obligatory but marriage.”

I never heard any words from them for my senses were far away from my body. Not until I felt somebody panting her breath was catching and running after me. If she was faster than rocket I was faster than light. I only came into a halt when to my dismay, the one who was following me, panting and catching her breath was my poor mother. Out of mercy to a suffering mother I stop, and my senses came to their attention. They gave me a green cool sprite. Thanks, I was still living.

Like the soothing hands of Jesus, their prayers and wishes were seemingly answered that at dawn I felt descending from high heaven to attend my wedding day. My senses synchronize with the dawn, when it appeared bright so was me as if, I have just awakened from a sound sleep or have returned from a long adventurous travel. Vitality was full because the smell of marriage and a woman is reachable. The world became new to me like the first morning of Adam.

My mother and Dad then asked me whom shall I marry. I enumerated and selected from among nine whom to share this second chance and while thinking over the nice beautiful thought of marriage a vision came to appear.

...to be continued...

"Take off"

Through frequent conversation with a man whose vision is so deep, I was able to write his story... a very astounding journey of life. Let's again try to take a glimpse so as to taste such sweet sensations of human's spirituality:

Chapter II "Take Off"
The first take off I experienced happened in September 1984, when I was brought home from Marawi due to signs of psychological breakdown. My mother got me one who learn the art of “mind”, one who is said to travel mentally while his body lies on bed, delivering whatever he sees in that travel. While they were jokingly happy inquiring on the “mind”, I felt a sudden pain, in my head that I almost could not grasp my breath. They then shifted their serious attention to me. Healers in the community were called.

It was the time when as if I felt my spirit started disembodying from my physical body. It started undressing off from my feet to my knee, then to my navel. In the navel, it stayed long as everybody were asking me to regain consciousness. Their faces appeared long and ugly to me. Their hands and body appeared combined with my body which added to my torture. I became like a big octopus, they were my tentacles but with individual heads and faces, looking badly at me. It was such a demonic and diabolic experience.

I didn’t know how did the torture stop but I only learned in the morning, the best healer slept in the house. But during the whole night, I felt that I was actually dead, body waiting for funeral ceremonies, spirit outside the body. It lasted for few days. When I happen to stand and walk, I felt I was like a living dead, zombie without any sign of active living. I tried hard to regain my consciousness, to help my father in his Sari-sari store but I could hardly add simple numerals. It seemed that I lost my memory and logic.

The second take off was in one of my auntie’s house, in Jolo on December 1986. To me, I was actually dying. I bade my goodbye to her; ”magsabar kitaniyu”, which means, “be patient to accept that I’ll die this early being unable to fulfill your dreams for me”. Then I supposed to breath my lasts. But soul is such immortal that I found myself to be suspended between sleep and wakefulness. I could sense my auntie confused on what to do for me, but I could not just open my eyes. Was I in comma? In trans? But certainly I was traveling very fast. She was alone in the house and no matter what she did to awaken me, I just maintain my breath…there’s no God, inhale, and exhale… but God.

I heard beautiful songs whose lyrics narrate about a departing soul, which sounded very sentimental. I pleaded deep within that if it were my time then let me accept it now anyway long life will bring me no further goodness.

But my auntie never granted me her goodbye. Whatever it took her I have to be awakened if I was just asleep or just unconscious. To my fortune, a Datu with some know-how of awaking as I had was just a house-apart. He was asked to come and perform some prayers and rituals. After some minutes, I came to see in my vision, his hands appearing in black shadow in the rays of bright light, waving me to come back. I refused for I love to die or at least to travel if it were a travel.

But the healer was so effective that before I finally come to my sense he has gone. I cried and shouted why has they awakened me to start ABC again? This world appeared to be dirty of obnoxious odor. Nevertheless, I was back to half senses whose night became sleepless. My senses were wandering far away from my body. I was then brought to the hospital and experiences heightened.